Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas/New Years

So, Christmas was pretty cool. Still waiting on gifts from sis whenever sent. Looking forward to New Just reminds you that time waits for no one. Here's to getting my butt in gear come 2009.
Happy New Years!!!

Wednesday, December 03, 2008

Adele - Chasing Pavements

I truly love this song! So beautiful :)

Lack of love life

am always trying to find ways of looking within and discovering myself and one major issue has to do with being in a relationship. I have been in a long term complicated relationship and I fear letting it go,but want to forge ahead with my love life. Going out on dates would be ideal,but it's so much work involved. I hate the fact that you have to put on a show to get someone's interest. It's part of the game,but so emotionally hard for me to put myself out there. Conflicting feelings always get me because I want to be in a relationship,but then again I don't want to be bothered. Am I sending mix messages out to the universe? Totally! I keep meeting these non committal types because of my conflicting feelings. What am I afraid of really? I have no clue,but I know that I need to do some soul searching. There are a lot of internal ideas that need reworking. I guess my current "set up" is safe for me at the moment. In this relationship I feel so alone at times because I am alone. I barely here from him and when I do it's like an event! Why am I always the available one? I have to say that I have been good with keeping to myself and not calling,but he's constantly on my mind. How can someone be so detached?

I went to this new age store a few weeks ago and picked up this mini card which had affirmations to say for attracting healthy relationships into your life (ie; family,friends,lovers) and I actually tried one of the affirmations and totally felt like a weight had been lifted. I felt lighter. It was great! Most definitely implementing those affirmations into my life. When I feel alone I just find comfort in knowing that I am loved and that there is someone out there for me who can truly give me the love I deserve,but first and foremost I have to love myself more in order to get that kind of love in my life.

Monday, December 01, 2008

Altered states when drinking

Why is it that people change when they drink? Being in an altered state seems to make a person true feelings come out. It's truly baffling for me to bare witness to people under altered states. That is why I refrain from drinking although I have tasted wine and what not. I am at the other extreme of fearing that I will have an addiction,but my addiction is fear of drinking and losing Just another one of my phobias which I will get into more Until then I think I will pass on the altered states.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Come into my world........

I want to welcome whoever visits my site and thank you for stopping by. Through this blog, I hope to share a bit of myself and also in the process practice writing more often as I am the queen of PROCRASTINATION. Anyway, I will be posting random stuff that I have on my mind. So, enjoy! Stop by again soon :)